I have always liked Cowboys, I love the open sky and running through the wilderness! This is a past life memory of such a time! I am grateful to share it!
The first time I saw him, he rode into our camp slowing down to ask in our language for a scout. I remember his seeing his bronze star badge and something in me stirred, perhaps recognition. I was eight or ten years old.
After that he would ride into camp and he and my father would disappear for days sometimes weeks. My mother said his name was Sheriff. He needed my father to track down other people. I remember sometimes this Sheriff would bring us sweets. I didn’t understand anything he said to us, he spoke English. Every time I saw him I would think he seemed very familiar, I could not place him.
AsI grew older I learned some of the English words from others who would come into our camp. Sometimes I would understand what he said to me.
Sheriff would come into camp to be with the men. Our chief accepted him; they would trade and he would stay to celebrate the different men’s ceremonies.
I found I became more curious about him. I would watch him when he came to camp wondering at my curiosity.
My mother often sent me out to find feathers, stones and check her different traps she placed near the river. I would go out willingly to get away from my brothers and sisters. I always felt free when I walked on the plains by myself.I of course was always careful when I was out by myself. My father always warned me of other tribes that would take me or that not all white men were like Sheriff.
I was grown on this day I was sitting by the river filling my water bag. The plains were quiet, not even a breeze. The day was warming up. My bag was fullof different kinds of feathers and stones from near the river. I heard the horse before I turned to see who it was.
Sheriff sat on his horse signaling for me to be quiet. He pointed across the river. I glanced across the water and saw a couple of white men walking along the bank.I turned to look back at Sheriff. He signaled me to come to him. I did very carefully, very quietly. He grabbed my arm and pulled me up in front of him on the horse. When I was up on the horse we galloped toward my family’s camp. He held me close to him as we galloped. I could feel him inhaling my scent. Then I knew. I knew this man’s intentions. Were they always his intentions? This Sheriff?
When my father saw us riding into camp he smiled. Sheriff slid off the horse easily and then helped me down, perhaps holding onto my waist a few moments longer than he should. He looked directly at me then, being a brave person I looked at him. Our eyes met and I felt a connection to him. I wanted to stay in this moment to discover this new idea. He released me with a look of determination.
He turned to my father and they went to talk to the other men and my mother.
My name in English meant Wild Rose. I loved my name. I loved roses and when I came across the plants I would pick them and put them in my hair. I loved the smell and the taste of the rosehips.
Sheriff called me Rose in English. He would point at me and say Rose and then he would point at himself and say William. At first I didn’t know why he wanted me to call him another name. I couldn’t understand him. I did understand that our chief was putting him through tests so he could become one of the People. My father said I was promised to him. My mother started to teach me how to be a wife. Was I excited? I was more nervous than excited. I knew in my heart of hearts this was more than just a marriage. My young mind could not conceive what we would achieve in our lifetime.
Sheriff or William as he liked me to call him now rode out to see me often. He would bring with him cloth, sweets, beads and anything he thought I would like. He brought others of his people with him to speak with our chief and they would be in council sometimes for days. My mother said they were negotiating a better way of life for everyone.
After the council and my chief happy with the negotiations William and I were married according to my people. There was much celebrating. Our marriage was blessed by my chief.
Was I happy? Yes and very nervous. I knew what would happen amongst the furs, the women had explained the act to me. All of them laughing and telling me stories of their first night with a lover.
We did not consummate our marriage until we were wed in a church.
When William thought it was polite to take me from my tribe, after a few days of celebrating, he brought me to town.
Town was overwhelming for me, so many people! So much noise and the smell! He brought me to his parent’s home. They had a room made for me and started to teach me about living like a white woman. I felt as though I lost my freedom.
William’s mother, Mary, taught me how to sew and cook on her stove. She taught me new English words daily. She took my clothes from living with my people and placed them in a trunk in my bedroom. She gave me clothes similar to hers. They were plain colors and had many layers to them. She taught me how to dress in the many layers of fabric.
In the first days I was overwhelmed and despairing. I could not understand what anyone was saying. The clothing was heavy and hot. I could not go for a walk by myself. I was made to stay in the house all of the time. I felt as though I was a captive and not an honored wife.
I was not allowed to be around William without someone watching over us. He was different in this realm. The only way I knew he had any kind of affection for me was when he would look into my eyes. We would sit and be entranced eyes locked. No words can explain these moments. These were moments of pure connection for us on a soul level. This is when I knew he loved me in these small moments.
We were married according to his customs after two moon cycles. By this time I knew a little English and I could cook on a wood burning stove. Mary had taught me so much that I needed to learn during my confinement with her. I started to learn about her god and her church. I did not fully resonate with the ideas of this faith but I was willing to learn as much as I could.
William had purchased a house on the outskirts of town for us to live in. He brought my few belongings to this house the night before we were married. He told me it was our home. This is where we would raise our children.
There was room for plants in the yard and a water pump outside for watering plants.The house was small and sturdy. William bought simple furniture for us. This was fine for me as I always wanted to sit on the floor anyway. The first time I saw the small house I thought, how can I live like this for my whole life? I so missed being outside wandering the plains looking for feathers and pretty stones. I missed my family, my people.
The wedding ceremony was another community celebration as I learned William was a Sheriff or lawman. This was his place within the community in which we lived.Now I was the wife of the Sheriff. The people were kind to me because of how we came together, honoring both cultures.
William had become one of my people and I had become one of his people. Mary helped me understand this concept. She was a good woman and a good mother in law to me.She loved her son so much, she accepted me without question. Looking back so many situations could have gone awry without her effort to assist me during those early days of our marriage.
We were finally able to consummate our marriage. We were able to be alone to speak to each other, to be affectionate and smile at one another. Neither William nor I were big conversationalists. Why speak when you can look into your beloved’s eyes and know exactly what each other needs or wants? This how deep our connection is.
Everyday was a celebration. We often went out to see my tribe after we were married. Everyone in my tribe made fun of my clothes and new ways of being. I did not mind as I knew every day I was accepting the ways of many other people. I was celebrating my life and life was good!
Our first child was born two years after we were married. He was a boy, we named him William. My husband, William could not hold him enough. We were proud parents!
My mother and sisters came to live with me for a time to teach me how to be a mother. The time we spent together was so wonderful. They were amazed at my home and all its trappings. My mother praised my full and beautiful garden. We spent a lot of time outside in the garden while they were visiting my home.
After William, I bore two daughters, Mary and then Rose. Rose was Williams’s favorite. She was born early and we thought she would not make it past her first month. My mother arrived a few days after her birth and helped me with her. After Rose I felt as though my body would not bear more children. William was relieved; he worried every time I went into labor.
With each child we celebrated more and more for our lives were wonderful. Together we spoke up for the indigenous tribes in our area. We negotiated for them and their land. We worked together for the benefit of everyone during this time.
Our children were schooled at home. I taught my children of both of their heritages with the assistance of both of their grandmothers. Yes there were people on both sides of the families that felt there were faults in raising the children like this but I knew my children would appreciate it later and so they did.
There were many rocks and bricks that flew through the windows of my house. My garden at least once a year was vandalized by prejudiced people. I would be angry fora day and then forgive as I would immediately be grateful for all of the blessings in my life.
William was hurt in the course of his duties and would have to be nursed. The first time this happened I cried as I removed the bullet from his shoulder and stitched him up. After the first time I waited to cry as it distressed him so much. I did worry when he would leave and I would not hear from him for longer than a week. He taught me how to use a shotgun and I ended up being a good shot.
As we grew older we realized the government that promised so much was taking and taking away from the People. The government made the People move and live on land that was not naturally productive. This broke our hearts as we had done so much to assist the different tribes. We were invited to go live with the different tribes on their reservations, because they knew how much we still worked for their benefit no matter how harassed we were from different politicians.
We did retire to a ranch later in our life, when our children had made their own lives. William went to school and became a lawyer. Mary became a nurse and traveled everywhere she could. Rose became a school teacher and never lived far from us. She visited us often.
I am not sure now how our lives as humans ended. It was so fast. One moment we were asleep and another moment we were floating away holding hands and again celebrating. We celebrated being set free and truly seeing we were eternal beings and still we loved each other!
